So, in an unexpected turn of events, I find myself extremely available for work.
For those of you who've been following along with the journal, you may be surprised to read that first sentence. And not for the normal reasons (ie: I tend to ramble and mix my metaphors).
Regular readers: you're aware that I've been so busy watching our two boys at home that I haven't been able to take on much work lately, and that my projects tend to blend together as I juggle the business I just started and the home life I've always wanted. Just like Liz Lemon, I've set myself up for failure by believing that I can have it all.
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Randomly, I just got myself a few weeks of uninterrupted work time. Let me (vaguely) explain...
My wife — whom I've written about enough for this journal to feel like it's more personal than business — took a short leave of absence from her new job at the local children's hospital and is watching our boys during the day while I work in the office garage. Without getting too technical or invading her privacy, she's interviewing for a different (higher) position (same hospital) and while they consider her candidacy she was asked to stay away from work.
It's all kind of strange to me. Any promotion I've received or heard of allowed expected the candidate continue to work in their present role while being considered. I just keep reminding myself that the medical world and design world are very different. It's a new position and she's a new hire. I have to trust the hospital's decision. Especially because she's trusting it.
Yes, this is a good thing. But I'm nervous.
Her first reaction when this all happened was, "Great news! I can help out and you can get more work done!"
I responded with a semi-supportive, "Are you kidding me?"
I'm thrilled she's home: I get to sleep more, she gets to be awake during the day, the boys are happier, I have more time to work, we see each other all the time — the list of pros are quite large.
The scary parts though include: we don't have a regular source of income for the moment, her career seems uncertain, I had just finally gotten into a rhythm between watching the boys and getting help so I could work a little — definitely minor cons, but still requiring some adjustment.
Probably my biggest complaint is regarding how much work I've passed on the past few weeks. Obviously, there's no way I could have known this would all play out. It should also go without saying that whatever happens to help my wife with her career: I'm in full support of. However, if I'd known I'd suddenly have 120ish hours back to focus on The Hideout, I probably would have accepted a lot more of those projects that came across my desk. Maybe even all of them!
I can't put a precise number on the money I've passed on, but it's adding up.
Again: it's not all about the money. When I told a few friends that I was freed up and explained the situation, most of the responses I got were about how volatile freelance life can be. There are periods of feast and famine. That's just the name of the game. You'll be busy again before you know it. All valid points, but they seem to miss the bigger picture: I was just figuring it out! The work was there and I passed on it.
Start over.
I guess I can try and keep busy over the next few weeks with some admin work and wrap up any loose ends I have. Maybe there's a quick turn project or two that shows up. Maybe I take on a little extra production work that I charge hourly for and wrap up some identity projects a little early. There are some javascript classes I've been ignoring. There really isn't any shortage of work to do.
I just really don't wanna go through that same learning curve when my wife went back to work two months ago. Giving up the business for a period and learning how to manage the boys on my own was really hard. I accepted it as part of this growing period and powered through. I feel like we'd just made some headway, too — our oldest had stopped crying for his mom when she left and our youngest began sleeping through the night. Am I gonna have to go through all those things again in a few weeks?